Talk about it. Yes, this may seem like a no-brainer. But you’d be surprised how many horror stories I’ve heard where the guy dropped the whole “sorry-it-slipped-during-doggy-style” line. (Side note: We do not buy that excuse. It is not funny. You could end up getting slapped.)
As for the discussion, keep it honest, open, and pressure-free. Explain to your partner why you want to try it, gauge her interest, and most of all,respect her answer.
Use lube. In case you need a quick anatomy lesson, the anus, unlike the vagina, does not lubricate on its own. So it’s pretty much mandatory to use copious amounts of lube. Another handy tip: Silicone-basedlubricants last longer than water-based lubes (but either one may be used to promote pleasurable, satisfying anal play).
Test the waters. Prior to penetration, it may be in your best interest to ease into things. For example, Herbenick suggests inserting one lubricated—and possibly condom-clad—finger into your partner’s anus before inserting anything larger (you know, like your penis).
And yes, I get it: Reading about this on a blog makes it sound terribly awkward. But realistically, isn’t that the case for reading about most sex acts online? My point is this can help her gauge whether or not she’ll find anal pleasurable (or at least comfortable). So it’s worth testing the waters.
Pace yourself. It’s super important to go slowly during insertion and withdrawal. And despite what you may have seen on the Internet, deeper penetration and jackhammer thrusting can actually cause a lot of discomfort and pain. So remember to pace yourself and make sure you know how she’s feeling.
Similar to lube, Herbenick stresses that communication and relaxation are musts. So if she tells you it hurts, stop and figure out what you can do differently. Or revisit when you’re both feeling ready.
Wrap it up. Excuse me for getting blunt, but we all know what butts are for: pooping. (GASP!) And typically, where there’s fecal matter, there are bacteria. So even if you two are squeaky clean and STD-free, wearing a rubber can prevent bacteria from traveling down your urethra and into your prostate. Simply put, wearing a condom can keep you infection- and irritation-free.
Don’t cross-contaminate. If you start out having anal sex, stick to anal sex. The vagina is quite sensitive, so for the same bacterial reasons mentioned above, it’s best to avoid putting anything in her vagina that has already been in her anus (like toys, fingers, or your penis).
Have realistic expectations. Although porn may pique your interest for trying new things, real-life sex (as I’m sure you know) is not sensationalized. Things can get messy, sometimes it’s awkward, and sometimes you don’t get off. And in this scenario specifically, it may be a bit trickier for both of you to climax.
In terms of her orgasm: According to Herbenick’s book, some women do climax during anal sex, but that may be in part because they’re stimulating their clitoris with their fingers or vibrator during sex. So feel free to get in on the fun! (And if it doesn’t happen during sex, just make sure to make it a priority afterwards.)
So that’s a wrap, fellas! If this post left you feeling uncomfortable, disturbed, or slightly offended, then I’d say anal is not for you. (Which is cool! There are plenty of positions out there for you to try!) But if you’re genuinely interested in exploring your partner’s body, I wish you the best of luck and hope this was helpful.
You can see this article in : http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/anal-sex
